I cannot be too tired to think

I realised in setting out to set up this blog, I can allow myself not to blog regularly due to busyness or fatigue but I must never, in my life and ministry, stop thinking.

The recent weeks have been tough for me, so much so that when I attempted to write this sentence, it nearly came out starting as "The recent months".  I've been forced into a corner, far from my confidence in self and man, far further from my carelessness in living to contend with the issue of suffering.  

I've always counted myself a semi-pro on the issue of pain and the Christian life, having experienced intense emotional pain and still experiencing chronic physical pain.  Yet, I think I have only begun to think about pain and not suffering.  I will elaborate more when I have the time but you can read Col 1, 2 Cor 4, 6 and Phil 3 for a better idea of the Christian's call to suffering and joy.

I want to give thanks to God for helping me learn and yet sustaining me with grace, grace sufficient for me to say this to a dear sister over msn:

"I'm learning to wrestle with a lot of things at the same time, asking myself if I would be willing to give up more for the sake of ministry.  I come home many nights grieving for ministry and self problems, half wanting to cry but I cannot because I have found a place in my heart - where joy and sorrow exist simultaneously!"

I write this post with new appreciation for salvation.