i have moved

I promise this is the one permanent move that's all.  Finding it irritating to format blogging done on a mac on blogger.  Check out http://imtryingtothink.wordpress.com/

Thanks!

As For You...

2Tim. 4:5 [...] be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of
an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

I remember my 2nd mission trip with Parts.  My first time playing with
the full band team and thinking I could do this for the rest of my life
- playing music in with fellow people who love God and sharing the
gospel to those who haven't heard it or responded to it.  Uncle Chris,
then the ministry coordinator shared 2 Tim 4:5 for one of our on trip
devotions but the actual understanding and application of this verse
only just hit me last month.

"Be sober in all things": it wasn't long before I realised that the
gospel has been revealed to me and I have a responsibility to share it.
 Non-Christians need the gospel to live and Christians need the gospel
to grow.  I need to be clear of what I wanted to do as a Christian.
There's a small part inside me that wants to play drums and enjoy music
for as long as I can but in clarity and with a lot of dying to self, I
have come to see the importance of many other things in my life as a
servant of Christ.

"Endure hardship": hardship is relative to individual circumstances and
experiences.  The evident thing is that hardship in the life of a
Christian is a given.  Back then it was a soon-to-be-broken heart,
parents not understanding what I wanted to do i.e. serve as a full-time
volunteer with PArts, giving up personal time and much time spent with
friends.  Now amazingly 4 years later, I'm still called to struggle
with the same things, in different intensities but for the never
changing purpose of being involved in the work of the gospel.  Truly I
can't see how in wanting to please God we don't suffer any hardship at
all.  If not for anything, the Holy Spirit's leading and our constant
sinful rebellion is always in conflict.  If we don't kid ourselves, we
sin hard and fast and understand just how much we need the grace and
regenerative power of God.

"Do the work of an evangelist": another explicit command which has
often been looked over.  Since when was the work of an evangelist an
option for any us, regardless of our vocations?  Is sharing Christ
separate from the Christian life?  Is discipling separate from sharing
the good news?

"fulfill your ministry": ministry work entails more than meets the eye.
 As one who has greatly benefitted from the sleepless nights and
tireless efforts of others in teaching me and guiding me in the work, I
would have to be either blind or ignorant or both to pretend that
ministry is simple.  God demands excellence in His work and this
applies even in teaching a younger brother or sister how to share the
gospel or perhaps examine issues from a biblical perspective.  1 Col
1:28 We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with
all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ. -
reminds us of the magnitude of our work.

The verbs 'be', 'endure', 'do' and 'fulfil' are all in the imperative
form.  They are commands given to us by Paul, inspired by the Holy
Spirit.  I thank God truly for enabling and equipping us for the work
and most importantly, helping us to learn dependance on Him alone.

As for you, press on!

I cannot be too tired to think

I realised in setting out to set up this blog, I can allow myself not to blog regularly due to busyness or fatigue but I must never, in my life and ministry, stop thinking.

The recent weeks have been tough for me, so much so that when I attempted to write this sentence, it nearly came out starting as "The recent months".  I've been forced into a corner, far from my confidence in self and man, far further from my carelessness in living to contend with the issue of suffering.  

I've always counted myself a semi-pro on the issue of pain and the Christian life, having experienced intense emotional pain and still experiencing chronic physical pain.  Yet, I think I have only begun to think about pain and not suffering.  I will elaborate more when I have the time but you can read Col 1, 2 Cor 4, 6 and Phil 3 for a better idea of the Christian's call to suffering and joy.

I want to give thanks to God for helping me learn and yet sustaining me with grace, grace sufficient for me to say this to a dear sister over msn:

"I'm learning to wrestle with a lot of things at the same time, asking myself if I would be willing to give up more for the sake of ministry.  I come home many nights grieving for ministry and self problems, half wanting to cry but I cannot because I have found a place in my heart - where joy and sorrow exist simultaneously!"

I write this post with new appreciation for salvation.

too tired to think