The recent weeks have been tough for me, so much so that when I attempted to write this sentence, it nearly came out starting as "The recent months". I've been forced into a corner, far from my confidence in self and man, far further from my carelessness in living to contend with the issue of suffering.
I've always counted myself a semi-pro on the issue of pain and the Christian life, having experienced intense emotional pain and still experiencing chronic physical pain. Yet, I think I have only begun to think about pain and not suffering. I will elaborate more when I have the time but you can read Col 1, 2 Cor 4, 6 and Phil 3 for a better idea of the Christian's call to suffering and joy.
I want to give thanks to God for helping me learn and yet sustaining me with grace, grace sufficient for me to say this to a dear sister over msn:
"I'm learning to wrestle with a lot of things at the same time, asking myself if I would be willing to give up more for the sake of ministry. I come home many nights grieving for ministry and self problems, half wanting to cry but I cannot because I have found a place in my heart - where joy and sorrow exist simultaneously!"
I write this post with new appreciation for salvation.
