i have moved

I promise this is the one permanent move that's all.  Finding it irritating to format blogging done on a mac on blogger.  Check out http://imtryingtothink.wordpress.com/

Thanks!

As For You...

2Tim. 4:5 [...] be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of
an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

I remember my 2nd mission trip with Parts.  My first time playing with
the full band team and thinking I could do this for the rest of my life
- playing music in with fellow people who love God and sharing the
gospel to those who haven't heard it or responded to it.  Uncle Chris,
then the ministry coordinator shared 2 Tim 4:5 for one of our on trip
devotions but the actual understanding and application of this verse
only just hit me last month.

"Be sober in all things": it wasn't long before I realised that the
gospel has been revealed to me and I have a responsibility to share it.
 Non-Christians need the gospel to live and Christians need the gospel
to grow.  I need to be clear of what I wanted to do as a Christian.
There's a small part inside me that wants to play drums and enjoy music
for as long as I can but in clarity and with a lot of dying to self, I
have come to see the importance of many other things in my life as a
servant of Christ.

"Endure hardship": hardship is relative to individual circumstances and
experiences.  The evident thing is that hardship in the life of a
Christian is a given.  Back then it was a soon-to-be-broken heart,
parents not understanding what I wanted to do i.e. serve as a full-time
volunteer with PArts, giving up personal time and much time spent with
friends.  Now amazingly 4 years later, I'm still called to struggle
with the same things, in different intensities but for the never
changing purpose of being involved in the work of the gospel.  Truly I
can't see how in wanting to please God we don't suffer any hardship at
all.  If not for anything, the Holy Spirit's leading and our constant
sinful rebellion is always in conflict.  If we don't kid ourselves, we
sin hard and fast and understand just how much we need the grace and
regenerative power of God.

"Do the work of an evangelist": another explicit command which has
often been looked over.  Since when was the work of an evangelist an
option for any us, regardless of our vocations?  Is sharing Christ
separate from the Christian life?  Is discipling separate from sharing
the good news?

"fulfill your ministry": ministry work entails more than meets the eye.
 As one who has greatly benefitted from the sleepless nights and
tireless efforts of others in teaching me and guiding me in the work, I
would have to be either blind or ignorant or both to pretend that
ministry is simple.  God demands excellence in His work and this
applies even in teaching a younger brother or sister how to share the
gospel or perhaps examine issues from a biblical perspective.  1 Col
1:28 We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with
all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ. -
reminds us of the magnitude of our work.

The verbs 'be', 'endure', 'do' and 'fulfil' are all in the imperative
form.  They are commands given to us by Paul, inspired by the Holy
Spirit.  I thank God truly for enabling and equipping us for the work
and most importantly, helping us to learn dependance on Him alone.

As for you, press on!

I cannot be too tired to think

I realised in setting out to set up this blog, I can allow myself not to blog regularly due to busyness or fatigue but I must never, in my life and ministry, stop thinking.

The recent weeks have been tough for me, so much so that when I attempted to write this sentence, it nearly came out starting as "The recent months".  I've been forced into a corner, far from my confidence in self and man, far further from my carelessness in living to contend with the issue of suffering.  

I've always counted myself a semi-pro on the issue of pain and the Christian life, having experienced intense emotional pain and still experiencing chronic physical pain.  Yet, I think I have only begun to think about pain and not suffering.  I will elaborate more when I have the time but you can read Col 1, 2 Cor 4, 6 and Phil 3 for a better idea of the Christian's call to suffering and joy.

I want to give thanks to God for helping me learn and yet sustaining me with grace, grace sufficient for me to say this to a dear sister over msn:

"I'm learning to wrestle with a lot of things at the same time, asking myself if I would be willing to give up more for the sake of ministry.  I come home many nights grieving for ministry and self problems, half wanting to cry but I cannot because I have found a place in my heart - where joy and sorrow exist simultaneously!"

I write this post with new appreciation for salvation.

too tired to think

The Word Of The Lord Came To Me: musings on Jeremiah 1

This particular section of the bible is famous for verse 5a - "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" and has been quoted by several people when they speak to me about our worth and identity as God's children.  The same verse has also been referenced in several good Christian literature, often in highlighting the biblical stand on abortion issues.

I decided to pick up reading Jeremiah, having been encouraged by the richness of OT scripture during Bible Trail this year and it's been both joyful and scary delving into God's word.  Joyful because the last time I attempted study of the OT I found myself pretty lost, having a poor grasp of inductive bible skills.  Scary because of the sombre warnings found in the many many chapters of Jeremiah.  Here are some quick reflections during camp last week.

Jer. 1:1 The words of Jeremiah, the son of Hilkiah, one aof the priests who were in bAnathoth in the land of Benjamin,  2 to whom the word of the LORD came in the days of cJosiah the son of Amon, king of Judah, in dthe thirteenth year of his reign.  3 It came also in the days of eJehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah, and funtil the end of the eleventh year of gZedekiah, the son of Josiah, king of Judah, huntil the captivity of Jerusalem in the fifth month. 

Jer. 1:4   Now the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 

Jer. 1:5    i“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

and before you were born jI consecrated you;

I appointed you a prophet kto the nations.” 

Jer. 1:6   Then I said, “Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, lI do not know how to speak, mfor I am only a youth.”  7 But the LORD said to me,

“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;

for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,

and nwhatever I command you, you shall speak. 

8 oDo not be afraid of them,

pfor I am with you to deliver you,

declares the LORD.” 

Jer. 1:9   qThen the LORD put out his hand and rtouched my mouth. And the LORD said to me,

“Behold, I have put smy words in your mouth. 

10 See, I have set you this day kover nations and over kingdoms,

tto pluck up and to break down,

to destroy and to overthrow,

to build and to plant.” 

Jer. 1:11   And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, u“Jeremiah, what do you see?” And I said, “I see an almond* branch.”  12 Then the LORD said to me, “You have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it.” 

Jer. 1:13   The word of the LORD came to me a second time, saying, “What do you see?” And I said, “I see va boiling pot, facing away wfrom the north.”  14 Then the LORD said to me, w“Out of the north disaster* shall be let loose upon all the inhabitants of the land.  15 For behold, xI am calling all the tribes of the kingdoms of the north, declares the LORD, yand they shall come, and every one shall set his throne at the entrance of the gates of Jerusalem, against all its walls all around and against all the cities of Judah.  16 And zI will declare my judgments against them, for all their evil ain forsaking me. bThey have made offerings to other gods and cworshiped the works of their own hands.  17 But you, ddress yourself for work;* arise, and esay to them everything that I command you. fDo not be dismayed by them, lest I dismay you before them.  18 And I, behold, I make you this day ga fortified city, han iron pillar, and ibronze walls, against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests, and the people of the land.  19 iThey will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for jI am with you, declares the LORD, to deliver you.” 

1:4-5 Jeremiah is made by God:

for a relationship (v5a)

for a purpose (v5b)

What is striking here is that God knows.

1:7-8 Jeremiah's rightful response:

willing to go where God sends him

willing to speak what God commands him to

What is striking here is that God is with him.

1:11-12 An encouraging reminder:

The Lord's word is certain

He is aware and concerned to act on His plans

What is striking here is that God is actively at work, watching over His plans.

1:13-16 Judgement of God on Israel:

Disaster will come from the north

Judgment on Israel for forsaking God

1. They made offerings to other gods

2. They worshipped their own creations

1:17-19 God's instructions for Jeremiah:

Prepare for work

Without being dismayed

What is striking here is that God equips us for the work He calls us to.

Some quick thoughts for myself and perhaps for you:

1. What drives me to do things we are not ready for e.g. our careers, relationships while we say we are not ready to serve and stay away from ministry opportunities?

2. In the temporal things we are often engaged in, we find ourselves working and preparing very hard.  How are we preparing and working in things of eternal consequence?

Vanity Fair

Most of you will be familiar with the contemporary American magazine of the above name.  It regularly talks about culture, fashion and politics.

I was very surprised to find the same name in The Pilgrim's Progress, a Christian allegory of one man's search for eternal life.  Allow me to side track for a while.  It is a wonderfully crafted story by John Bunyan that traces the difficult journey of one man's journey in salvation.  I'm about halfway through the book and already there have been many precious reminders and fresh perspectives into the faith we call Christianity.  Here's one of those lessons from Vanity Fair...

The main character Christian enters a town together with a friend, Faithful.

 

"...they presently saw a town before them, and the name of that town isVanity; and at the town there is a fair kept, called Vanity Fair. It is kept all the year long. It beareth the name of Vanity Fair, because the town where it is kept is lighter than vanity; and also, because all that is there sold, or that cometh thither, is vanity, as is the saying of the wise, All that cometh is vanity."

"Therefore at this fair are all such merchandise sold as houses, lands, trades, places, honours, preferments, titles; countries, kingdoms, lusts, pleasures; and delights of all sorts, as whores, bawds, wives, husbands, children, masters, servants, lives, blood, bodies, souls, silver, gold, pearls, precious stones, and what not."

Amidst the psychedelic bedlam, Christian and Faithful were not liked by the people of Vanity for these 3 reasons:

1. Christian and Faithful (the pilgrims) were clothed with a different kind of raiment, from that which was sold at the Fair.

2. They spoke differently as people of Canaan, as compared to the men of this world that ran the Fair.

3. The pilgrims had little regard for the merchandise available.

In addition, they sought only to 'buy the truth' when asked what they would like to purchase.

Maybe it was the setting of the story, maybe it was because I was reading this along busy and colourful Orchard Road but I was alarmed by the story. There were so many, many of the merchandise available at Vanity Fair that I hunger for.  I asked myself if I'm distinct enough from the world that I live in that people know I'm a Christ follower, as Christian and Faithful were.  And then I realised something else.

I can look different and speak different.  (See Reasons 1 & 2)  External appearances are easy to maintain.  Yet I can't say that I have little regard for the merchandise available.  Conviction to do anything pleasing to God comes from having a renewed understanding that cleaves to my soul.  Perhaps as a Christian, I struggle with so many things because my understanding is 'separate' from me.  My understanding and I can live separately!

This is why I continue to sin with little regard for God - His will for me, His pleasure and His character.  This is why I continue to hunger for material/temporal things - spiritual things do not appeal to me because of the low value I attach to them.

Please pray with me that the Lord will be gracious and merciful, in transforming my mind to understand and for my soul to hunger deeply for the things that please Him. (Rom 12:2) May we be like Faithful, who suffered and died in the town of Vanity standing up for his faith, becaused he knew deeply, that there is no earthly comparison for the good that is waiting for him with Jesus Christ.  

I only wish I knew how to describe the incomparable way Christian and Faithful knew.

Waxing Lyrica*

On the issue of pain, I found this picture on a website that talks about a certain kind of pain that diabetic patients feel.  I can't even imagine what it feels like to be in pain like that.  

With the exception of cold cold days, I have been feeling much better these days, with the help of physio and rest. Interestingly though, the moment I stepped into my doc's office today for a review, I felt a familiar pain down my right thigh. 

Anyway, this is what she prescribed me. These are pills to lessen the pain that one gets from nerve irritation. Technically there's nothing on my nerves now, since the prolapsed disc has been removed of sorts.  Still, my body is hurting due to prolonged irritation of some nerves.

Hopefully this works soon because the side effects include drowsiness and weight gain!

And I really don't know why these pills are sold under the name 'Lyrica'. Sounds almost like lozenges for sore-throaters.